seeing him

Ἅγιος ὁ Θεός, Ἅγιος ἰσχυρός, Ἅγιος ἀθάνατος, ἐλέησον ἡμᾶς!

faith is believing without seeing. and while god rarely appears to us in physical form, i honestly believe that he reveals himself to us all the time. if only we weren’t so blind. but god prefers to reveal his presence indirectly. it’s more god-like. jesus loved to speak in parables. he doesn’t want it to be easy. it wouldn’t be fair really. like a teacher giving you all the answers to the assignment before you attempt it for yourself. god loves to give us hints though. and they can take on many forms. a moment of soulful meditation where you feel at peace. a time of great need when you feel strangely taken care of. a verse in the bible that really hits home. those tears you can't hold back when you feel loved or even witness the love of others. think about it.

you’ve been relying on your own understanding for so long. eventually you talk yourself into thinking that you are the captain of your vessel and that only your abilities will determine your destiny. if i work hard, and do this, this, and that, then all my dreams will come true! then in an instant, everything goes wrong. the path you’ve chosen suddenly becomes a cliff side. ever have that feeling? that anything can happen and you have control over nothing? that you’re a product of a million random events all unchecked, unregulated, and taking place simultaneously? has this been a reoccurring theme in your life? it has in mine.

yet, when it seems like the night will never pass and i begin to question myself, my choices, and my circumstances, i also begin to wonder, as if for the first time, maybe it was meant to be. could it be that god has control over everything in my life? well, when everything's going great, then of course he does. but what about the bad times? believe it or not folks, god doesn’t always steer our lives in the direction of maximum comfort and satisfaction. sometimes he wants us to go through hardship and heartbreak. it's only because he misses us. god knows me all too well. he knows that i draw closest to him in times of difficulty. this is when i pray for his guidance and he listens. and guess what? the sun rises again. it always does. and my miserable night has brought me closer to him and has taught me a valuable lesson.

i believe that god has equipped us all with the capability to feel his presence. like an internal god-radar. no doubt, this is a mystery of the holy spirit that inhabits us. yet, while we all have this radar, the great majority of us have it turned off. and the great majority of those who have it turned on are often skeptical of what their hearts tell them. they always need more proof. and while god would rather not give us more proof, wanting for us to rely on our hearts instead, sometimes he reluctantly gives in. just look at thomas. he declares, "Unless I see in His hands the print of the nails, and put my finger into the print of the nails, and put my hand into His side, I will not believe." i can picture jesus sighing in disappointment. he appears to thomas of course, but not without leaving him with this lesson, "Thomas, because you have seen Me, you have believed. Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."

lord, i pray that you reveal yourself to me. i need to feel your presence in my life always. please remove the veil from my eyes and allow me to see you. make me into good soil and sow your seeds in my life lord. humble my spirit, god, and remove the stubbornness from my heart. help me to see your profound wisdom in my life's journey.