documentary

per my friend jeff's suggestion, i watched a national geographic documentary today about north korea. you really need to watch it, it's unbelievable. to quickly summarize, it's a very rare glimpse into the life of the people of north korea. videotaping is not allowed in the country, so the journalists were risking their lives to capture the footage. they were disguised as part of a medical team taping an instructional video series on cataract surgery. so as you might know, kim jong-il, the supreme leader of north korea, has successfully isolated the country from the rest of the modern world. no tv, internet, phone lines to other countries, etc. it has been in that state for half a century. but aside from the ongoing political injustice and total lack of freedom, what i was most fascinated by was how the people regarded him. to them, he is an absolute god. pictures do not exist unless they are of him. there are no books, except those that were authored by him or his deceased father. there was footage of a park bench that was enclosed in glass, because the leader once sat on it. it's unreal. if you haven’t started watching yet, i hope that was enough to peak your interest.

at first, i thought, they must be acting. people are sent to concentration camps for lesser crimes than questioning the absolute authority of the supreme leader. they can’t possibly be convinced that he is god. they’re just really, really good actors. but as the video went on, i was less and less sure. in one scene, a blind old lady tells the film crew, she wishes her sight would return so that she could see kim jong-il's picture once again. she cries. her family cries. even one of the guards cries, who then describes kim jong-il as having been a loving father to her since her own father's death. the last scene of the documentary is the most disturbing. one by one, the wrappings are removed from a room of 1000 patients, post cataract surgery. some of them have been blind for 15, 20 years, or more. each of them, now able to see, walk to the front of the room where kim jong-il's picture hangs, and begin crying intensely. some throw their hands up, saying things like, "praise him! praise him!" honestly i couldn’t even fathom what was happening. how could these people believe he was god? how could they be so deceived?

i was feeling pretty crummy. i got this hopeless feeling about the world, which was followed by a set of questions that i had no answer to. these people believe in something. something stupid. anyone who isn’t brainwashed can clearly see how stupid and bizarre it is. but what about me? if they shot a documentary about my life, would people think the same thing? i believe in a god named jesus christ. he is a man too. i've never seen him. and while he was never president of a country here on earth, i believe he is the king of the universe. does that make my beliefs more or less bizarre? often times, to answer questions of faith, i make a mental chart.

is it wrong to doubt?

no. doubt strengthens my faith. god doesn’t want me to blindly follow. he wants me to ask questions. he wants me to seek the truth. he knows that many before me have blindly followed. blindly following is dangerous. when you lose the will to question, to search for answers, to grow in knowledge and understanding, you forfeit the god given intellect you possess. god wants me to love him. he wants me to learn about him. to hear his voice. you can't love someone you don't know. and you can't know someone without asking them questions. but god's answers are an argument of heart. if the source of my question is my mind, i will not likely find the answer.

what does my heart say?

my heart has never questioned. everything christ has taught me has been well received by my heart. blessed are the humble, the gentle, those who thirst for righteousness, the merciful, the peacemakers. these are things which are agreeable to my heart and things that i truly desire. it comforts me to know that my god considers them worthy of blessing.

why doesn’t everyone believe?

Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it. Matthew 7:14. jesus knew that the whole world would not believe. he knew that man had come to worship himself and his self-bestowed glory. a change of heart would not be easy and would come at a great price. he said he was not here to bring peace, but a sword. to turn a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother. that those who believe will be risking their lives. they will be hated and persecuted.

does god reach out to people?

Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. Matthew 7:7. god is standing right outside their doors. he hasn’t forsaken them, nor has he forgotten about them. i often struggle with this, when i simply need to trust his love and mercy.

i pray that god delivers his children from suffering and persecution. that he reaches out to them and does not allow them to be misled.