memories

have you ever had a certain conversation or been through a particular experience that has lingered in your mind as if frozen in time? they are like memories, but somehow more distinct and vivid. like looking at a real object as opposed to a picture of one. when i close my eyes, i can see my body, all my surroundings, the sounds, and i remember my thoughts exactly.

for instance, i remember standing at the corner of our apartment building in riyadh when i was 8. i was peering around the corner at the narrow alley between the building and the concrete fence. it was dark and dusty. none of us dared venture down there to retrieve our missing toys. there were lizards and who knows what else. it was frightening just standing at the threshold of that tunnel. i turned and asked my friend ali if he would go down there. he looked at me wide-eyed like i was crazy. "ramses, ramses!" he said pronouncing it "rum-sees, rum-sees!" ah yes, the devil. we referred to him as ramses for some reason. he lived in that alley. then ali began moving his open palms up and down with his tongue sticking out, meaning there are lizards. ali didn’t speak english or arabic; he was from one of those african countries that speak french. but we invented our own language and he was my best friend. i remember that moment very clearly. maybe it is because my senses were heightened from being afraid. it seems like all these memories have had a strong emotion attached to them.

another one was fishing with my dad when i was 14. he had gone down to the lake which was only a few steps from our apartment in lowell, MA. it was not quite a lake, more of a reservoir really. i remember rushing down the wooden steps to catch up with him. i made my way through the cattail and other shrubbery and stood next to him. it was a beautiful day, warm, clear skies. i was excited because we had been seeing huge carp swimming to the surface from the balcony. we stood in silence, trying not to disturb the wildlife. then suddenly my dad got a bite! we had caught fish here before, but none like this. his rod screamed click-click-click-click-click from the strong pull. i got goose bumps and my heart was beating very fast. he planted his feet and i grabbed his waist so he wouldn’t fall into the knee deep water. it was as if we had caught an atlantic blue marlin. after a long struggle, the culprit finally surfaced. it was a huge turtle! we looked at each other in surprise and confusion. we had no choice but to cut the line. we were disappointed that it wasn’t a monster carp but strangely satisfied at our rare encounter nonetheless.

the most recent experience which has become frozen in my mind was a conversation i had with uncle george abraham, god rest his soul. since i was at school most of the year, i hadn’t seen nor spoken with amo george for months since his illness. my parents were keeping me updated and we were all praying for him. one day last year when i was home for break, i was standing in the basement at church and people were making their way down the steps after liturgy. i was saying hello to everyone and catching up when i noticed amo george by one of the columns. he looked very sick indeed. i felt awful. i walked towards him and he saw me and motioned, "ta'ala, ta'ala" meaning come here. i didn’t know what to say really, i kissed him on the cheek and asked him how he was doing. he held my forearm and said, "if i had another daughter i'd want her to marry you." i smiled, "thanks amo." then he told me, "when you open your clinic, john, you have to give to the poor. do as much as you can for god. do it all for free, don't turn anybody down." i shook my head, "yes, of course." then he said, "everything god has given me was because i gave to those in need." then someone came by and pulled him away. that was the last thing amo george said to me. i admired him very much. he was one of the most generous people you could ever meet. he had a very simple outlook on everything. simple and straightforward. always did what was right. i'm really thankful for his words that day.

If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. This is how we know that we belong to the truth and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence. 1 john 3:17-19.