resurrection

happy easter! it's a bit late i know. finals and projects have taken over for the past few weeks. everything is going well for me this year and i feel enormously blessed. when i'm sick, exhausted, stressed, i complain like everyone else, but secretly i'm cracking a smile. blessed to be stressed. i feel like i have my hands out and god is dropping the whole world right into my open palms. i've had many good laughs and moments of real happiness and optimism this year. i feel at peace. i haven’t had a knot in my stomach in a while. my spirit is sort of in a state of thaw. "time goes by and the snow is drifting. slowly in the sky. cold, cold night as you lie beside me. i can hear your heartbeat." yeah, i know, don't judge. but that song is how i'm feeling right now.

but enough about me. i've wanted to talk about something i've been thinking about recently. it started with a conversation i was having about how much i love being orthodox (~50% of my conversations, but i'm trying to cut down). i started by explaining that all christian sects are wonderful and probably equal in the eyes of god. but orthodoxy to me, is so darn fulfilling. it works so perfectly with my personality. orthodoxy takes nothing from human interpretation. you can't point to a single human being and give them credit for the traditions or teachings of the church. the church fathers have done all they can to preserve the church in its original form. for the coptic church, since the teachings of saint mark. jesus appointed the disciples, 70 of them i believe, to spread the word to the whole world. he taught them too. probably during the 40 days of his resurrection. i like to think he detailed all aspects of his church. long story short, they succeeded and that was the start of the orthodox church. since then, little has changed. you can tell by the traditions of the various orthodox churches. coptic, greek, i've even been to an antochian orthodox church, and they are all so similar. simple, wholesome, spiritual. rich in tradition. i may not understand every tradition, procession, or custom. but i trust that my lord has built something perfect. something that has not been modified or weakened by human interpretation. but enough about that, what i really wanted to talk about was jesus' resurrection.

have you ever thought about how the disciples suddenly went from hesitation to absolute, unflinching faith? take saint peter for example, one moment he totally denies knowing jesus, the next he travels across the world, spreading a message that he was absolutely sure would get him killed. and he was killed, crucified. and he opted to be crucified upside down so as not to be compared with jesus. i read an interpretation that he wanted to die "right side up," because he understood that this world is all wrong and topsy turvy. but how can this be? how can the same man go from absolute fear for his life, to laying his life down willingly, confidently? it's all about the resurrection. the resurrection was a moment, an experience, so incredibly life changing, that nothing else on earth seemed to matter anymore. we all know the story of the resurrection, but if you really stop, close your eyes, and try to visualize it, it really is unbelievable. imagine someone you might have lost in this world. now imagine them suddenly walking through your door. they tell you, don't be afraid, i've conquered death. i am alive. you don't have to be sad. i cannot die anymore. i will not die. truthfully, the thought itself is making me tear up. it must have been such an amazing sight.

before i go, thought i'd share this interesting idea. have you ever thought about how the disciples, mary magdalene, and the countless others jesus appeared to during the 40 days before his ascension, did not recognize him? i read that jesus actually appeared different. one interpretation is that he appeared in his truest form. and when he revealed who he was, they all immediately recognized him. because he was human, like us, surely the world had taken a toll on his body. but in his resurrected form, he was perfect. just like all of us who might be physically afflicted in this world will be reborn perfect. we will be different beings, the same in spirit, but with otherworldly bodies.