sharing

[i added english subtitles to this video i made a few years ago. it's one of my favorite coptic hymns ever, i think it captures jesus' life so beautifully. enjoy!]

i get a lot of good reading done on plane rides. on my connecting flight to atlanta the other day i noticed that i had a pretty strange habit. for some reason, i always have an urge to share my "discoveries" with other people. like if i'm reading a book, and i stumble on a passage that really hits home, i have a hard time quietly accepting it and being content with my own personal gain from it. my mind always thinks, "oh my gosh! that's incredible! do people know about this? does the lady next to me know about this? i have to tell her!" of course, i never go through with it, although if i had the slightest hint that she was curious about what i was reading, i would instantly point to the page and tell her, "please read this right now!" i thought to myself, well, that isn’t such a bad habit to have. you just want to share good things, enlightening words, ideas. it's not like you’re cramming your thoughts down anybody's throat. god knows, nobody likes those types. but while in that sense it's not such a bad habit, i've come to realize that it is the source of much of my personal struggles. how? well, when i meet someone who doesn’t believe in god, i feel so helpless. even if the person is quite vocal about it, feeling the need to tell you how stupid you are or the reasons why god doesn’t exist. i honestly have never felt insulted or angry by those things. just plain sad and hopeless. i think to myself, why lord? why don’t they give you a chance? why have they made up their minds? you are the source of so much happiness, why can’t i share that happiness with them?

see the thing is, people don't rule out religion, or god, or christianity, because they don't like christ or his teachings, but because they don't like christians. or certain christians they have encountered more specifically. which i think is such a shame. because christianity to me is a personal journey. it's about christ, not christians. i wish people would read god's words with an open mind and an open heart and judge for themselves, without being influenced by others. because i know it would provide meaning and purpose to their lives.

you only have one life, don't let it waste away. seek the truth. because the reality is that you have a choice to make. the most important choice of your life. when you read jesus' words, you will be left with the decision that either he is the son of god, the creator of the universe, or he is a crazy person. his words are either the absolute truth or they are the most malicious lies the world has ever known. either he is god or he is a con artist. you can't be on the fence about it and you can't believe that he was a great teacher or philosopher. he did not give you that choice. lewis says in mere christianity, that jesus' second coming, to those who will be alive then, "will strike either irresistible love or irresistible horror into every creature... now, today, this moment, is our chance to choose the right side. god is holding back to give us that chance. it will not last forever. we must take it or leave it." i don't like to think about christianity that way, the doom and gloom, people will perish type of thing, but unfortunately it is a fact of life. i wish that the whole world could be saved and that no one would feel fear at the sight of jesus. it's such a depressing thought. i don't want jesus, who loves us so much, to be disappointed in us. i want him to look down and see smiling faces, tears of joy, people ready to go with him. god knows, i have my own problems and plenty of regrets in my life, but if i'm allowed to be with him one day, i want to be able to see everyone i know there. i want to laugh about it and there needs to be hugs and high fives. i don’t want anyone to be left behind. sometimes it's hard to focus on your own salvation when you're worried about everyone else! lord, please enter our hearts and help us to see the truth. please don't leave anyone behind.